A Blog About Love.

People of the world, I come to talk to about love. I know what it is. I've fallen into that trap too many times. Love is a black hole. A hole of the worst combination of emotions. They teach you all throughout your life, "Life is grand! Love until you can't love anymore!" "Give your heart to 50 people because it's beautiful! It's a beautiful feeling, love is!" I'm here to tell you that it isn't. Fuck love and all of the bullshit that comes with it. It doesn't matter if you like them first, or they like you first. It doesn't matter what color they are. It doesn't matter if it is boy/girl. Or girl/girl. It all hurts the absolute same. Some a little more than others. You find one, they break you. You let them break you. You become vulnerable and it's fucking beautiful. It's one of the greatest feelings you will ever feel. And they tell you that love is "grand gestures!" Like, "going to the ends of the earth for someone", crossing the ocean, holding a boom box up outside of their window. No. Love isn't any of that. Love is a bunch of  the little things that no one wants to share with you. Like, the biggest pile of bullshit you have ever seen. Who the fuck invented love anyways? I'd like to meet that guy and punch him in the face. Like, seven times. Or maybe even twelve times.

Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is a bunch of.... *fart noise*

I don't know if it's more beautiful to fall in love or to go crazy. Think about it: You fall for someone and they don't give a shit about you. But time goes on, and absence makes the heart grow fonder and they say things to you that apparently they didn't want you to take the way that you did. And then you go fucking crazy and blog about it because you're a pathetic romantic little bitch and somewhere deep down, you're okay with it because what if, that is actually what love is? Love is fucking crazy.

The worst part is that you think to yourself, "I'll just drink them away!"Or i'll just get high and not feel a thing. WRONG! So terribly, terribly wrong. None of that helps. You know what helps? Time. Another shitty concept that I can't seem to grasp. Time is of the essence and you spend it pining over someone who could care less about you and how you feel. And I mean you spend time just thinking, trying to get over them but every day you still think about them and it just gets worse and worse, and you have no control over it. Somewhere in your brain, someone else is controlling you and you have no clue how to stop it. It doesn't stop.

I'm starting to think love just doesn't exist. Because eventually, people change and go their separate ways. So love isn't even a forever kind of deal. It's temporary. Love is temporary bullshit that the world forces us or wants us to feel but when it's gone you just want to crawl into the darkest corner of a dark room and be alone for a day, a month, years. And you want to cry your eyes out, but you've programmed yourself not to break. You've been told to be strong. Not to let someone break you. But you find that letting someone break you is beautiful in some sort of fucked up way. Then, over the years you try again because you get over it. Then the same thing happens and you start to realize that you are indeed, broken. A broken instrument to the world that will never sing the same tune ever again.

Love is supposed to hurt, isn't it?